Did you see the signs?

We challenged TikTokers around the globe to do a simple five-step dance to a love song. Seems harmless, right?

Wrong. This TikTok challenge actually has a hidden message. If you listen closely you’ll discover this isn’t your ordinary love song but a story about online grooming.

And what about those five dance moves you’ve been doing? Without realizing it, you’ve been copying the same steps an online groomer takes to lure you in and take advantage of you.

With this #5StepChallenge, we want to make you aware of the dangers of online grooming and how you can easily miss the signs. That is why it’s so important to always #CheckBeforeYouChat.

We challenged TikTokers around the globe to do a simple five-step dance to a love song. Seems harmless, right?

Wrong. This TikTok challenge actually has a hidden message. If you listen closely you’ll discover this isn’t your ordinary love song but a story about online grooming.

And what about those five dance moves you’ve been doing? Without realizing it, you’ve been copying the same steps an online groomer takes to lure you in and take advantage of you.

With this #5StepChallenge, we want to make you aware of the dangers of online grooming and how you can easily miss the signs. That is why it’s so important to always #CheckBeforeYouChat.

Here are the 5 signs you might've missed

Friendship

Groomers befriend you online and try to get to know you by showing an interest in you and asking questions about your personal life. The goal is to build trust by being a listening ear.

Relationship

Through flirting and showering you with compliments, groomers will try to take your relationship to the next level: from friendship to a romantic relationship.

Checking Risks

Groomers will ask questions like “Are your parents around?” and “Who else uses your computer or phone?” or “Can you delete your chats?”. These questions aren't random, they're just trying to figure out if they can get caught.

Isolation

Groomers might ask you not to tell anyone about your relationship as it is your ‘secret’ and will talk down your family and friends to try to disconnect you from them.

Dirty Talk

The conversation will become more sexual. This might be subtle at first like complimenting your body and saying things like “you’re sexy” but can evolve into asking for nudes, intimate videos, or even an actual meet-up.

Brenda Mayer

Love Birds

"Love Birds"

Behind the lyrics with executive creative director Ricardo Wolff

"Love Birds" narrates the encounter and subsequent relationship between two souls. In this case, two birds.

They meet mid-air, fly high towards an endless sky and find their own cloud hidden from everyone else, where they become intimate. Luckily, the bird who's been seduced finds its way out - leaving the other behind. And for a very good reason: the other bird was a predator all along."

Myths about online grooming

“Only girls can be the victim of online grooming”

It can happen to anyone. Gender doesn’t play a role when it comes to online grooming.

“Online groomers are always strangers”

Online groomers aren't always strangers. In fact, it might be someone you already know or have already met.

“Online groomers only use shady chat rooms to look for victims”

Online groomers will use any online platform that is popular with children to try to communicate with them. This can be social media such as Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok or online games like Fortnite and Among Us.

“An online groomer is a perverted old man”

The stereotypical image of the old guy who is sitting in front of a computer screen in a dark room is far from accurate. There are online groomers of all genders and ages. Anyone can be an online groomer.

“You have to be really naive to fall for the tricks of an online groomer”

No one is immune to grooming. Groomers are often so cunning and convincing that it's very hard to realize you're being groomed.

Are you a victim of online grooming or do you know someone who is?

Most of us talk to people online – it's a great way to stay connected. It can even be a good way to make new friends sometimes. But it's important to understand that not everyone you talk to online has good intentions. Some people befriend you and try to gain your trust just to take advantage of you sexually. This is called online grooming.

If you think you are being groomed

Ask the person to stop

As a first step, you could ask the person to stop. ‘Good friends’ don’t make you do things that make you feel uncomfortable. If you're uncomfortable with a relationship it's important to speak up.

Tell an adult you trust

Telling someone can seem scary or embarrassing but telling an adult can help you to get out of this situation. This can be any person you trust and feel safe with, for example, a parent or someone else in your family, a friend’s parent or even your teacher.

Find help in your country

Most countries have specific helplines or institutions where you can find help and more information about online grooming. Click here to find out who to contact in your country.

How to protect your child from being groomed

Start the conversation

Start a conversation with your child about his or her online activities. Show your child that you're supportive and make it clear that you're there if someone does something your child isn't comfortable with, whether that's inappropriate comments, images, requests or sexual comments.

Stay involved

Get to know the apps, games, and websites your child is active on. Try to be aware of who they socialize with in the real world and who they talk to online.

Know the signs

While signs of online grooming are hard to spot, there are some signs you might want to look out for. Your child may be wanting to spend more time on the internet and might be switching screens when you’re near. Your child might become more withdrawn or has abrupt mood swings. Additionally, turning off his or her phone might cause your child stress or worry. Be aware of any sexualized images or sexualized language.

Find help in your country

If you’re worried your children are targeted by an online groomer, always report your concerns. Hotlines and resource centers aren’t reserved only for victims. Most countries have specific helplines or institutions where you can find help and more information about online grooming. Click here to find out who to contact in your country.

INNOCEAN Berlin

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